Contrary to popular belief, pumpkins don’t exist.*

Due to an unfortunately long-lived, and worldwide, case of mass psychosis illness, cultures have willingly come to accept the reality of the “pumpkin.” Is it the tap water? The lust for corporate coffee? The unbridled adults driven mad with a yearly need to feed their pumpkin beer addiction?

Not to be one to rain on this mass psychosis party, we’ve added “pumpkin” and spices to this seasonal brew. Let the hysteria continue!

*awaiting peer-review for journal entry