On a hot sunny summer day one’s throat becomes quickly parched and only one thing can truly satisfy - weizen. Lo and behold, there within the fridge a bottle of the blessed gift of wheat - Stouts Weizen. But wait, I have not had this brew before. Can it satisfy the yearning that consumes me? Quickly I grab the 12 oz bottle from its icy confines and feel is pleasing coldness upon my skin. The temperature is right the time of quenching is to begin! But upon bringing out the fabled glass of the ancients and ripping the crown off of the cold bottle there quickly comes a surprise as I pour. This beer pours not in the fine yellow, golden and orange hues of the beverages of yore. Instead I am greeted by a barely pale yellow-ocher colored beverage that seems to stare listlessly from the glass. The color disgusts and revolts and mocks me more by its clarity. Slightly cloudy to be sure but as I stare dumbfoundedly at the glass I can most certainly see the world beyond through its depths. A small white head rises to the top to mock me with reminders of what should be. Choking back my trepidation I bring the offending beverage to my nose. A moderate aroma of sweet wheat and citrus rises. My hopes rise with them. Aha! It may not look much like a weizen but the nose is unmistakable - there is hope yet. Carefully I bring the beverage to my parched lips. I search for wheat upon my tongue but very little is to be found. I check for citrus as well, but have to search long and hard to find it. What I do find is a vague spiciness and a bizarre dry aftertaste that is beyond my ability to describe. With a heavy heart I choke the beverage down as quickly as possible so as to return to the fridge to find some real wheat beer that may be lurking within.