Õlle on selline jook, et iga uus kord kui klaasi või pudeli suule tõstad, siis leiad midagi uut, sõltuvalt tuhandest-miljonist pisiasjast, mis hetke olukorda mõjutavad. Seega piirdun iga õlle juures selle tekstiga.

After the commercial success of the 'pils' Tout Bien by this fake brewery (actually commissioning its products at the Martens beer factory), driven by the locally popular YouTuber who calls himself 'Average Rob', apparently the stylistic choice for a follow-up has fallen not on a dubbel, tripel or even blond, but a rouge, those artificially 'fruited', sugary red beers that have almost suddenly become incomprehensibly popular among young folks in Belgium... The little confidence I had in this project is now totally reduced to zero, but let us give it a try - for science. Intricately cobweb-lacing, pale off-pink, moussey, medium sized, slowly breaking head on a crystal clear, deep cherry red beer with ruby glow. Aroma - already upon lifting the lid for a few millimeters - dominated by red Haribo candy ('poepkens', 'dropveters' and so on), cuberdons, granulated sugar, wet cereals, Fanta Red and grenadine, children's medicine warming up, but not much else. Cloyingly sweet in the mouth of course, no genuine fruitiness but all red candy, in the form of cherry extract soaked in a truckload of sugar syrup, with medium carbonation and slick, sticky but thinnish mouthfeel; some very thin cerealliness can almost be felt under all that red candy, red lemonade and sugar, but not quite. The sweetness sticks in the finish along with something reminiscent of ascorbic acid (lemonade again) and a - luckily brief - background wryness of some sort, but certainly not hop bitterness. Perhaps it is the fact that we are dealing with a bottom-fermented rouge here (most other rouges on the market today are top-fermented), but this is even thinner, simpler and stickier than the rest - I hate rouges to begin with, but this one takes the already abominable level even deeper, towards rock bottom. This is just red lemonade with alcohol and nothing truly 'beery' - now that we finally got rid of that annoying Radler hype, it is this kind of childish, extremely sweet and simplistic pseudo-beers we have to deal with. Some will never learn. Well below 'average' - 'tout mal', in fact, but I guess I saw that coming.