For the sheer joy of writing a scathing review, I still buy a cheap beer every now and then of which I just know it is going to be bad - but let us stay as objective as possible and give this new Gordon Xplosion, a series that has stunned me with dismay in the past, a shot. Can from a Delhaize supermarket, contains added sugar, peach aroma and a whole lot of alcohol... Thick and frothy, audibly crackling, egg-white, relatively large-bubbled but stable, cobweb-lacing head, slowly dissipating on a crystal clear 'metallic' old-golden blonde beer with pale orangey tinge and strong sparkling. Aroma of Fruitella peach candy, peach-flavoured bubblegum and 'perzikjenever', tooth paste, wodka, granulated sugar dissolved in alcohol, urinal cake, rubber, canned corn water, iron pipes, industrial apple juice of the lowest possible quality. Utterly sugary onset, lemonade-like in a very dull way, effects of tooth paste and urinal cake from the start, all drenched in this ridiculously artificial sweet peach aroma that only reminds me of the kind of industrial peach and other 'fruit' candy I hate, fizzily carbonated; slick body, lots of sticky sugariness cloying to the teeth till the end, thinnish structure, grainy like a cheap industrial lager - even feeling a bit watery, if it weren't for the alcohol of course, which weighs down on the finish, in a quite unpleasant, wry and rubbing alcohol-like way. A metallic 'zing' accompanies the whole thing, alcohol is the only bittering factor and not agreeably so - in fact it feels like someone poured methylated spirits in an artificially peach-flavoured sugar solution. Chemical, sticky, instantly headache-inducing finish with that peach thing still happily dancing around - as well as urinal cake and tooth paste, again. Clearly aimed at an audience of alcoholics willing to take the risk of becoming blind after several of these - the only people I can imagine buying something as godawful as this. An abomination even within its own disconsolate category, worse even than that red fruit version of several years ago: I dare say that this comes eerily close to the worst beer I ever had, which coincidentally was another Gordon Xplosion (the infamous Gin version). In comparison with that red fruit edition, from what I remember, this is even stickier, more chemical and more urinal cake-like in aroma and taste, with an even more feeble structure. Absolutely disgusting both in concept and execution - I feel like a masochist even trying to pour down half a glass of this infernal liquid. The kind of 'beer' I love to hate - but there is one last product in this series, a rhum version apparently, I haven't stumbled upon so far... And seeing my dislike of rhum, that one may well be the one to equal the gin version in absolute baseness.

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