3.3

Appearance - 4 | Aroma - 3 | Flavor - 3 | Texture - 2 | Overall - 4

Can. Pours yellow. Smells and tastes like really cheap gin, nothing to do with beer. Overall: I have had worse things that call themselves beers, and i guess if you enjoy cheap gin, you may even like this "beer"!

3.1

Appearance - 6 | Aroma - 2 | Flavor - 3 | Texture - 4 | Overall - 2.5

500ml can. Pours dark gold with a medium head. Aroma is cheap gin and industrial alcohol. Taste has cheap alcohol throughout. Some shitty gin and toffee on the finish. Pretty brutal stuff.

1.1

Appearance - 2 | Aroma - 1 | Flavor - 1 | Texture - 2 | Overall - 0.5

50cl can. Pours clear golden and fizzing with a thin, white head. The strong 'aroma' is immediately noticeable after pouring and contains cheap gin, lemon, herbs & spices (but not in a nice kind of way), some grain and sugar water. It tastes medium herbal bitter, already gin-like and wry; then light sugary sweet, leading to a bitter, dry, alcoholic finish. Light body, watery texture, soft carbonation. The overload of artifical spices and alcohol burns away every taste which was already hard to find. Worse than the Red Fruit Xplosion and it even gave me a slight headache along the way. Pour it down the drain! Worst beer so far.

3.6

Appearance - 6 | Aroma - 3 | Flavor - 3 | Texture - 6 | Overall - 2.5

50 cl bottle. Pours clear and golden yellow with a small white head. Aroma is gin spiced. Sweet. Mild metllic note. Herbal gin spiced finish.

1.8

Appearance - 4 | Aroma - 2 | Flavor - 1 | Texture - 2 | Overall - 1

F: thin, white, quick gone. C: golden, clear. A: light juniper, quite strong alcohol, fennel, toilet cleaner, mint. T: like strange medicinal alcohol diluted with the mint in the water, anise, spicy, medium body, good carbonation, 500ml can from Delhaize in Brussels, quite nice can hide a candidate for one of the worst beer on the planet Earth, so be aware.

Fucking hell!!! Why?

0.6

Appearance - 1 | Aroma - 0.5 | Flavor - 0.5 | Texture - 1 | Overall - 0.5

Another marketeer product by this infamous ’brewery’, launched in the spring of this year along with its red brother and claimed by John Martin to be top-fermented, which I find hard to believe. Having read the previous reviews, my hopes are low, but then again they always are when I encounter a new ’Gordon Finest’. From a 50 cl can. Thickly cobweb-lacing, surprisingly stable but quickly thinning out, pale egg-white head over a cristal clear ’old gold’ coloured beer with no visible fizz. Aroma is completely ’unbeery’: fennel alright and a lot of it, juniper leaves rather than berries, even the wild angelica but very little of the coriander seed - which would only be a relief in this case; these dominating spices come across as very artificial and extract-like, and there is not much to appreciate otherwise, apart from gin-like alcohol; the artificial fennel and angelica aromas drown anything else. Taste is even worse: a weird, toothpaste-like flavour dominates, again with a lot of artificial fennel and angelica - but being familiar with both herbs in their botanical form, I can only say they are being violently raped here. Carbonation is medium, mouthfeel is supple and light for a beer of this strength. There is a certain trace of pale malt sweetness way below, but the artificial spiciness keeps tyrannizing the whole thing and of course, as expected, an astringent, gin-like alcohol burn makes it only worse in the end, along with its dear friend ’sugary cloyingness’. The last impression remaining, is even glue-like - need I say more? Yes, I do: coriander is clearly noticeable here, but for one time only, it fails to ruin the taste, because it has bigger enemies to cope with. I can feel a certain coriander presence lingering at the back, but I almost feel pity for it in this gruesome context. I can more or less understand this concept from a purely commercial point of view: I get the idea of making a beer akin to the old gin, which is incomprehensibly popular in this country nowadays; this, however, has resulted in a Frankenstein monster which puts the other Gordons, even that dreadful Platinum, to shame. I can write with the same amount of passion about a bad beer as I can about a good beer and in that ironical sense, this is an interesting find. This is utterly depressing: I’m guessing even the indiscriminating alcoholics who usually buy that reprehensible Gordon Finest Gold, will find this undrinkable. This is an absolute abomination: I have been holding a grudge against Gordon’s alcoholics’ lagers (which I am convinced are concocted at Bavaria) ever since I first encountered them twelve-odd years ago and at that time, I could never have imagined these people were perverted enough to think of something even more horrible than all of its predecessors combined. Nothing in this toothpaste, plastic-like product is redeeming - even I am physically unable to finish the entire can, which says a lot. I still have that ominous cherry version to try, but it is theoretically impossible for it being worse than this. Thinking of the worst beers I had so far, I cannot but conclude that this is even worse, so I have to give it the lowest possible score. This is pure poison: avoid at all times and alert your beer-caring friends about this nightmare. It is a good thing for you, dear reader, that we are trying out these abominations just for your sake... Be warned: Worst. Beer. Ever. P.S.: I seem to be known for my exaggeratedly long reviews, but apart from public health warnings, there is one last thing I would like to add about this hellish brew: it is a very memorable evening for me to start with one of my highest ratest beers (Bell’s Black Note) and ending with my lowest (this one - if I could, I’d give it a plain 0/5). Anyway, enough said, let’s pour this poison down the drain and go to sleep - with the minty toothpaste-like freshness of this thing probably still clinging to my teeth when I wake up, from a terrifying nightmare induced by Gordon XPlosion.

1.8

Appearance - 2 | Aroma - 1 | Flavor - 2 | Texture - 4 | Overall - 1

Oh boy. Oh lord. Oh god. Oh beergeekism. This is gonna be bad. After having most of the other inbreds Gordon produced, after having heard from friends this was the BADDEST thing ever. After having read those ratings before me. I still kamikaze’d on this one. I actually did go to the store, purchased this can of... thing. I poured it, and I am entering my rating. All for science, i guess? The ’beer’ pours clear blonde, with no foam at all. The stink immediately penetrates my nostrils, causing my eyes to tear. Not by burn, but more with self-hatred. It smells like when you’re working in the garden. when your cutting your hedge, consisting of needle-threes. I did not enjoy my work in the garden at all, and this scent immediately takes me back there. Why would i freakin’ drink something that smells like my most terrible job ever? WHY ? #forscience , thats why. Next to this chemical, gardening stink, I get notes of sweetness. The taste follows. Its freakin’ sweet. again, this is made to taste like booze, this time they took a shot at gin. Dry, wattery and boozy, with some herbs floating around. Again, this is very chemical ( what did you expect ) The 11 % is hidden somewhere in the taste that makes you think its about 20. I guess this is what a cocktail would taste like If I let a 5 year old mix one. And If I only give him bad stuff to begin with. This is nothing like any beer anyone has ever drank, I assume. Which is for the good, lets keep these kind of things an exception ( IF they háve to exist in the first place )

3

Appearance - 6 | Aroma - 2 | Flavor - 3 | Texture - 4 | Overall - 2

50cl can shared at the July THT. Thin white head. Clear golden pour. Dreadful.

1.5

Appearance - 4 | Aroma - 1 | Flavor - 1 | Texture - 2 | Overall - 1

Bottle shared at Dean’s Technicoloured Dream-Shorts Tasting. Pours clear golden with a white head. Aroma of gin, floral notes, there’s no beer here. Flavor is moderate sweet and light bitter. Light bodied with light carbonation. Awful.