Euro strong lager brewed for 'Fun Beer' which, despite its intentions perhaps, does not sound very promising; clearly coming from the Martens conveyor belt of supermarket brands, and frankly I do not give a damn for which company it was originally conceived - in 2018 apparently - as this is going to be tough ride anyway. Comes from an ominous half liter can bought at the Carrefour supermarket in Sint-Denijs-Westrem. Thick and foamy, fizzing (for much longer than I was anticipating), egg-white, membrane-lacing head gradually opening over a crystal clear, 'metallic', deep old-golden robe with some thin strings of sparkling in the middle. Aroma of industrial white sugar, factory-made apple juice, a vague hint of caramel sauce even, cheap brandy, cooked rice, sugar corn from a can, nail polish remover, methylated spirits, illegally distilled corn whiskey, iron plates, eraser. Fizzy onset, more so than anticipated even - but the consolation brought by this artificially added yet finetuned, fine-bubbled and fine-targeted carbonation is short-lived, as a 'dead' kind of corn-like sweetishness ensues, with metallic edges and something annoyingly sugary on top, in a straightforward, 'white' kind of way. Slender, sleek body, remarkably thin in fact for this ABV - in reality the alcohol has thinned whatever thin body of a minimal proportion of pale malts 'enriched' with corn and syrup could ever provide. The sweetness remains, even turns a bit caramelly in the end, but does not go over the top as with many other malt liquors and the like; equally persistent though are the corn flavour and the iron effects on the sides. In the finish - and in fact long before that - the alcohol unsurprisingly becomes apparent, but somehow it behaves less brutally than I was expecting, in spite of being very, very present, even literally 'aggravating' the mouthfeel and heating the throat. Like some very cheap, budget supermarket brandy, it lingers at the back more than anything else, but the people who buy this kind of products cannot be bothered by this utterly boozy, harsh and unpleasant ending, I guess... Putting things into perspective, this Haka somehow manages to shock me less than I had been preparing for, it is less sickly sweet and less harshly boozy than many other examples of its category. I hasten to add, however, that this category as a whole has no reason to exist other than to provide a quick and cheap buzz to alcoholics, which makes it - by definition - the most depressing genre of beer ever made, in stark contrast with all those wonderful beer styles we got. I feel just a bit relieved that this is not the very worst in its genre - take note of this, Gordon - but I am still physically unable to drink half a liter of this poison so most of it ended up as drain pour, obviously. Terrible as expected, just a little bit less terrible than other terrible strong lagers, perhaps.

Can in Costa Rica.
Pours clear light golden with a medium sized white head, good lacing. Wet grains, straw, mild metallic.
Ok