No citrus at all. You had one job...

Fairly new addition to the dreary beer selection of the Aldi supermarket chain - one created for them alone, very likely by Martens indeed, though this is not mentioned anywhere (not on my can anyway). Comes in both canned and bottled form and is seemingly a plain pale lager (Buval, I guess) heavily sugared and flavoured with extracts of lemon and agave - so, considering tequila is made from agave and often drunk with a wedge of lemon, this is Aldi's way of competing with that terrible Desperados, which for some reason still seems to enjoy widespread popularity. Thick, frothy, snow white, tightly cobweb-lacing, stable head on a crystal clear, pale 'metallic' platinum blonde robe with 'old golden' tinge and some disparate sparkling. Aroma of melting white sugar, aloe vera gel (this is the agave, I assume), lemon-scented hand soap, a whiff of honey, something - excusez le mot - 'fart-like' further on (oddly), dried glue, wet white paper, cheap industrial lemonade or lemonade candy. Sugary sweet in the mouth, very lemonade-like, cloying, with moderately strong sparkling adding some relieving minerality - but then the sugars returns in full force, sticking to everything that follows, which is not a lot: a slender malt-syrupy undertone perhaps but nothing really malty, and fake, added flavours from a plastic tube or something, indeed reminiscent of lemon and agave but both in the same way you would expect them to smell in bath soap or something alike. No natural lemon or agave is to be detected, of course, and especially the latter bothered me throughout with that 'hand gel'-like scent and flavour. Oddly, a bitterish note is present in the very end (almost after swallowing), but I dare not say it comes from hops - it feels very artificial and a bit 'chemical' and is likely derived from those horrible extracts. Artificial to the point where it becomes sad rather than funny, this one comes from the very bleakest regions of the realm of beer. It does not taste like beer, but it does not really taste like lemon or agave either - I never thought I would say this, but if that damn Desperados was the source of inspiration here (as it was for quite a series of similar products, think Salitos or Amigo), then this one does not even manage to reach the original's 'quality' level. Feels like someone took a cheap pale lager and poured both lemon- and agave-scented soap in it, along with a heap of granulated sugar. Need I say more?