3.2

Appearance - 4 | Aroma - 4 | Flavor - 3 | Texture - 2 | Overall - 3

Can (thanks Jukka K.!). Yellow colour without a head. Aroma is floral, some honey, mild grainy tones. Flavour is grainy, fruity, some stomach acids and quite much alcohol. Aftertaste is a lot of alcohol.

2.1

Appearance - 4 | Aroma - 3 | Flavor - 0.5 | Texture - 5 | Overall - 0.5

Pours clear , cristal clear pale blonde . Small white head. Peach yoghurt . Chemical and completely hiding the 11abv . Talk about fuck-you-up-juice. Taste is sweet, medicinal, malt liquor, boozy, metallic touch, chemical burn , peach yoghurt, chemical sugars, cloyingly sweet. Aftertaste is a long lasting punishment - hatred for humankind has never been more peachy. When dying of thirst, and presented this beer, I might actually prefer dying in peace.

7

Smooth mild beginning. Slightly grainy with a great malty dark back. The sweeteners are present, malty caramel, slightly roasted with a sweetish, slightly sweetener present aftertaste. Nice but I don’t like chemical sweetener in my beer.

5.6

Appearance - 8 | Aroma - 6 | Flavor - 4 | Texture - 8 | Overall - 4.5

Appearance: Cloudy yellow to orange with a tall frothy white head of decent retention. Aroma: Overripe babana, wheat bread, apples & pears, restrainred clove. Taste: Light sweet. Wheat bread, metal, apples & pears, less banana & clove. Mouth feel: Light to medium body, average carbonation. Summary: Decent smell. Disappointing taste.

4.1

Appearance - 8 | Aroma - 4 | Flavor - 3 | Texture - 6 | Overall - 2.5

Appearance: Clear pale gold with a tall airy head of medium retention. Aroma and taste: Grain, dust, wort, grass, beans.Light sweet & bitter. Mouth feel: Light body, sof tto average carbonation. Summary: Cheap.

6

Appearance - 7 | Aroma - 6 | Flavor - 5 | Texture - 7 | Overall - 6

'Table stout' by what is - often unknowingly - one of Belgium's largest breweries, active since the 18th century and supplying many supermarket chains with soulless supermarket beers; apparently this ancient brewery is still 'oldskool' enough to add this kind of beer to their range, because it has not been in existence for a very long time (around two decades, or perhaps a bit longer) while it caters for an audience which has become all but extinct by now. Very dark table beers in Belgian style, 'tafelstout' if you will, are an old tradition based on the early 20th-century English milk stout, and has spawned a few other examples which are all but forgotten by now (think of Bavik's Pony Stout), but with that historical background in mind, I was quite eager to give this one a shot. Thick, very moussy, busily cobweb-lacing, pale yellowish beige, regular, large- but even-bubbled, stable head on a very dark mahogany brown beer - indeed near black, with clear burgundy-red edges. Aroma of some or other artisanal cola not from the leading brand, rusty iron (or iron in general - and quite a lot, see the 'hand test'!), hard caramel, brown sugar, aspartame, natural rubber, something vaguely 'burnt' (burnt toast even), nutmeg, Ersatz chocolate, unsugared chewing gum - and again, cola, as in cola powder drink mix. Sugary sweet onset, very cola-like in a homemade kind of way (not Coca Cola - not even Pepsi), treacle and date hints faraway but no actual fruitiness so clearly bottom-fermented, soft carbonation, slick mouthfeel - indeed a tad thin, but what do you expect from a beer at this strength (and the sugar does add some 'body'). Sweetened graininess in the middle, remaining very cola-like, with an unpleasant metallic iron aspect growing stronger and stronger; burnt caramel steps into the picture at a certain point, but otherwise not much more happens, apart from this rubbery element in the finish, unable to divert the attention from the cola and iron flavours which make up the most part of this table beer. No hops are discernable, at least not by me, but there is a background bitterness from the old aspartame, as expected. Very sweet, industrial and quite metallic, but let us be honest here: is this really worse than e.g. Piedboeuf Brune or the large supermarket chains' dark table beers? I think many of the extremely low ratings below have to do with people expecting 'stout' in the modern sense of the word, but anyone familiar enough with Belgian 20th-century beer traditions will recognise this as a typical example of the darkest league of old-fashioned table beer. It does not aim to be more than that, this has nothing to do with the barrel-aged, pompously flavoured imperial stouts you all indulge in (including myself, sure): this is a particular segment of extremely 'oldskool' Belgian table beers very few present-day beer geeks remember or even care about. I do remember, and I admit that the iron and rubber elements here could have been less strong - but this 'tafelstout' does largely meet my expectations so allow me to be the first one here who is not too severe about this 'niche beer' for old folks.

5.6

Appearance - 8 | Aroma - 5 | Flavor - 6 | Texture - 6 | Overall - 4.5

Enjoyed straight from the can. Aroma and taste: Malt, crackers, grass. Light sweet, medium bitter. Mouth feel: Light body, average carbonation. Summary: Better than expected.

5.4

Appearance - 6 | Aroma - 6 | Flavor - 5 | Texture - 5 | Overall - 5

330 ml green bottle, as Belga Star (Martens is not mentioned on the label), produced in the EU, from Vinmonopolet, Nettbutikken. ABV is 4.9%. Crystal clear pale golden colour, moderate to small white head. Sweetish aroma of pilsener malts, and floral and grassy hops. Citric mouthfeel. Fairly crisp flavour, a little sweetness, and moderate bittering hops in the finish. Could have been worse.

3.6

Appearance - 5 | Aroma - 4 | Flavor - 3 | Texture - 3 | Overall - 3.5

Buval, in spite of AB InBev’s legal objections challenging the similarities with Jupiler in terms of package, remains the fixed ‘daily’ pale lager of the Aldi supermarket chain, and even they have sensed the current hype of non-alcoholic beers – a hype I deem capable of producing a vast array of very varied beers some day (something which, to a certain extent, is already happening now). Brewed by Martens – thankfully Aldi is honest enough to unambiguously mention this on the can – I have entered it here a separate new beer, but I strongly suspect it is actually an alias of the non-alcoholic Karlsquell, which has been brewed by Martens in the past as well. Anyway: can from the Aldi supermarket in Sint-Denijs-Westrem west of Ghent, shared with tderoeck. Snow white, thick and moussy, regularly shaped, stable head, crystal clear pale straw blonde robe. Aroma of raw cereals and chicken grains, old dry teabags (oddly), dried parsley, peppermint leaf somewhere, cooked corn, damp cloth, burnt sugar, some iron. Sweetish, thin, cereally flavour, lots of minerally fizz, bit glueish effect along the way as well as a metallic touch; cooked corn and basic raw cereals in a watery environment, but then these weird parsley-, tea- and eventually even mint-like aspects return, making for a somewhat herbal ending, which unsurprisingly completely lacks hops – so that this annoying, monotonous cereally sweetishness continues unabatedly. Watery, grainy, thin and industrial as expected, but with some very peculiar side flavours. There is even worse in this segment, admittedly – but not a whole lot.

5

Appearance - 6 | Aroma - 5 | Flavor - 5 | Texture - 4 | Overall - 5

Can. Golden colour with a small white head. Aroma is parfumed soap, cardboard and some mild herbal tones. Flavour is citrus, some parfumed soap along with mild coriander and some slight wheaty tones. Very watery.