Originally rated May 2006. Last of the Laker reviews. Kept the strongest for last. This will also compliment the Laker Premium Light I just had. Pours a rich golden colour with no carbonation. The head is big, creamy and foamy with better retention than the Laker Light. Good lacing all around. The nose is grainy in malt with a touch of alcohol. Watery mouthfeel, with again the alcohol showing up slightly in the back of the throat. The taste is mild with grain malt and fruits like apples in the aftertaste. Not bad on the burn, but rather have a few more of their normal lagers to get her done.

For this rating - a 900 milestone - I decided instead of rating the beer, I’d let the beer rate me. It was difficult at first to communicate with the beer, but after some deep thinking (read drinking), I came upon just the right psychological medium to communicate with the few yeast still alive in my tin can of Laker Ice. Here it is: The guy drinking me seems to turn a pale colour after taking his first sip, almost deathly if I had to choose an adjective. He smells a little drunk - I feel like I’m not being accorded all the proper respect due to a beer that rates in the tenth percentile of the distinguished category of pale lager. Just think of the multitude of lagers that rate worse than me... His appearance is a little offensive. After sipping, he pulls his lower jaw back in some sort of attempt to close off the top of his throat to any further invasion. He squints his eyes and looks around as if someone else is responsible for this digression in taste. His stomach churns after I flow down his throat, clearly offended by a perceived sense of mistreatment. His palate is pasty - there is far too much slobber floating around in his mouth to make an honest rating here. Overall solidfunk is a bad recipient of the yellowy, high-carbonated bliss I have to offer him in the lager department. A pity.

Nothing better than a random beer in a can from southern Ontario airlifted to the arctic.... price be darned! Looks okay, decent level of foamy head and bubbly macro-lager goodness in the body. Soft aroma of sweet rotten corn stench with barely a hint of cardboard. Flavour has some strong fruity esters and adjuncts thrown in with a citrusy and bitter finish. Dry, at least. While it’s totally not great, it’s much better than the other macro I’ve been drinking up her for the last couple of months (and thus my relatively highy rating might be just celebrating a bit of variety!).

Originally rated May 2005. This one comes in clear bottles. It pours a light golden-amber colour with a foamy head that dissipates quickly. The carbonation is full of big bubbles, looking like ginger ale. The aroma is slightly metallic with malt and some fruits. There is a mild bitterness in the taste again, a bit of fruit. The finish is clean and dry. Nothing offensive on this one, just not a great amber.