Finally finding a single of this stuff, I’d been intrigued by the macro-bastard-brewery as to what they could possibly add to the porter mix that could be worth buying.... not interested in buying a six pack, finally at a local "dep" I found my answer in a single bottle with that shady label that seems straight out of the seventies. Like a Lincoln Continental all decked out in shag carpet, big permed hair and bell bottoms on black men, this brown and beige label with handwritten "porter" was sure to be coooool drinkin’ as the P-Funk all-stars blasted from the eight-track. Right? Well, it pours with muddy brown precision and a foamy dark beige head. The aroma is barley that disappears into the night, lost to too much carbonation. The flavour? It’s like a rotten candy that your uncle offered to you out of his back pocket because he forgot to get you a present for your birthday. And you’re like "Ya, all dat", and that candy is melting and smelling in your hand, all that sugary mess gettin’ all over your palms. but you try it anyway because you love your uncle, but then you got this cloying sweetness on your tongue like you been eatin’ too many of grandma’s breath mints in an attempt to get high. Sugar high, that is. In short: you betch yo ass this stuff sucks.

Found in a nice huge 710ml can that can easily function as a fine pipe bomb once drunk, or if you manage to even get that far. Pours with thin styrofoam head and a pale yellow-piss body. The aroma is cardboard and a bit of corn, all vague and coming off as completely unappetizing. Flavour is empty wateriness and then a sugary rice-wine finish, like this was supposed to be a stronger beer or something. If I’m going to taste that awful taste, I deserve to be rewarded with a decent buzz - not a four percent "light" beer! Fail on all levels.

From one Québec barley wine to another, uh, shall we say, "barley" wine, of the cheaper variety. Completing my murderous tour of Labatt’s fine malt liquor selection, I found this charming 950ml can in an artisanal beer shop. I let it sit for an hour or two before opening, to allow it to warm up to room temperature, so I can properly taste and feel the true nuances of Labatt’s ten-point-one monster, and compare it to the softer varieties out there. If by chance you actually pour this into a glass, rather than just suck it down from the gigantic can or glass bottle, you’ll notice it has quite a large head and a decent bright gold colour - an almost average apperance for a beer! Aroma is rice wine, paint, and a soft hint of grain on the back end; but again, this is indeed a positive mark for this beer as it does not have a revolting smell. Taste is all rice adjuncts with a huge foul alcohol finish. Yicccch. This is bad hangover material for sure. For you anglophones out there, the "bleue" is pronounced "bleuh", which is what you essentially do after drinking a litre of this stuff.

Boring yellow body with barely any head. No aroma. Flavour is rice and corn with a cardboard finish. How does this even come close to being an "ale"?

Yes, this is another 1.18 litre monstrosity of a glass sculpture filled with Labatt’s finest. The bigger question being, of course, why they have so many varieties of this stuff? Have you ever met a chick at a backyard party who said "Oh, I don’t know, the ten percent is just too strong, I’d prefer to sip on the eight percent" and thus you go fish out the one-step-down Labatt of her choosing. No: in fact I’d imagine it’s just discerning homeless drunks who like to time their buzz that buys these things. So if you’re a ten sip guy, you get the ten percent; a fourteen sip guy, you get the eight percent. Ridiculous? Yes; but it’s the only explanation I can come up with. So, this one pours with a slightly darker gold than the others and that same ugly styrofoam-white head. The aroma is dirty armpits and cardboard. Flavour is rice wine and vodka; or just plain old ethanol alcohol if you will. Slightly alcoholic aftertaste. Not absolutely hideous, and it gets into your gut quickly so you can get plastered and do stupid things that your friends can take pictures of and post on facebook. Thus, it is not horrible as a "functional" beer, but seriously, it still really, really sucks.

Found in a 710ml can! Who in the hell makes a 710ml can? And why not 700ml, or 720ml, or 690ml? Am I missing something distinctly Québécois, eh?? What’s wrong with 500ml, or 499ml - this will always remain a mystery to me. So, furthering my exploration of dégustation for the ditch-dive homeless crowd of eastern Canada, I thought I would "déguster" Le six-point-un Labatt du jour, you know, to get a "bon conaissance" of what those on "chômage" might be drinking at any given moment... you know, the ones holed up over the metro air vents, taking in the warmth while they suffer from a city of cold. But enough of waxing poetic - this pours bright gold with that blindingly white head that all the Labatt stuff seems to have. There is a faint aroma of cardboard and burning tires. Flavour is rice wine mixed with diesel fuel. Smooth finish, though. Overall, I’m giving this one the lowest score I’ve probably ever given a beer - and it’s for good reason. If you need a bad beer to get wasted on, just go for the high-alcohol version of this! Why waste your time sipping the six-point-one percent stuff??!? It’s a major fail in both "dégustation" as well as functionality. A completely useless beer. By the way, as I come back from the bathroom, it should be noted: this stuff comes out in exactly the same colour as it goes in.

Boring yellow body with big carbon bubbles. Modest very white head on top. Aroma of cardboard and lemon. Taste is rice adjuncts. Finishes partly dry then leaves a residue of crap on your tongue. It does nothing for me.

So Labatt, and Molson’s too, why have five different versions of this gasoline you call beer floating around? As if the discerning homeless drunk isn’t trying to get wasted too fast, and thusly chooses the more attractive seven-point-one version? Out of curiousity I bought one.... and if I spend more time on this continent I might end up trying them all, just out of a sheer morbid fascination. Comes in a 1.18L bottle, enough beer to kill your dog if you’re not careful. Pours with a little head and a boring bright gold body. Aroma of cardboard and grass. Flavour is vague paperish notes, followed by a watery finish. Extra points because it’s drinkable despite the alcohol, and you won’t notice it as it goes down - and that’s about all you can say that’s positive about this one.

This ale pored a crystal clear, light yellow colour with a nice, bright white, foamy head. To the nose... scents of rotten eggs and corn... mmmm, mmm! First sip was watery and had a flavour of wine. Typical white bread beer from Labatts...crap!

Hope this is the right spot, my bottle says labatt blue non-alcoholic malt bevereage. Clean and rather fresh fake beer fun. Right out of bottle is sizzly and sodalike. No hint of cardboard so common in other fake beers. From previous ratings, luckey I didn’t smell it too much, heheh. Woooo, I think I’m catchen a buzz! Only thing lacking is an alky burn. I think this is one of the more enjoyable NA beers I drank. Goes to show, what I know about rating beer.